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Hello Everyone – It’s January 2007, the beginning of a New Year! What resolutions did you make on New Year’s Eve? One of mine is to play, have fun, and socialize more this year. As I looked back over the last few years, I realized that I have been so busy caretaking and making a living that I have neglected my social life. In addition, a close friend who would often call me up and ask me to go for a hot dog and a movie, moved to California and we have drifted apart. So far no one has appeared to take her place. What does your social life look like? Are you sacrificing your own fun and social experiences to care for your loved one? It is a sticky issue as we all know! On the one hand we have our loved one to care for – which can take a considerable amount of time, energy and money at times. Then we have our own needs. For those of us who have chosen to care for someone with a “challenge” in this lifetime, it is sometimes easier to do the caretaking for the “other” than it is to do the caretaking for ourselves. For me it has often been easier to ignore my own needs and be of service. But to do that too much and too often is not good for any of us. We need to replenish our energy often – at least once a week – so that we have the energy, stamina, and kindness that is necessary to keep going and never give up. So this year I plan to look to my own caretaking more often, and more carefully. And since I know we humans do not make major changes easily, I am going to plan a couple of small steps which I will share with you. First of all I am meditating for 30 minutes every morning. I get up, make my coffee, and sit in my living room and look out onto my beautiful pond in my back yard. I have some verses or prayers I say. I listen to beautiful spiritual music, and I breathe. Focusing on the breath as it goes in and out is a wonderful way to relax. And for this 30 minutes I go to a wonderful, peaceful, beautiful place that feels absolutely exquisite, calm, and peaceful. All my cares and woes leave me for a while, and I am at total peace and experience the feelings of unconditional love and calmness. Second, I recently started to wish for some new friends. I just focus on what type of person I want to invite into my life and for what purpose. And then I wait to see what happens. Well the other day I was in the locker room at the gym and a total stranger and I started talking and we ended up agreeing we would like to have dinner and see a movie together! How’s that for wishes coming true? By the way did you know that the way we know what God wants for our life is to listen to what feels good and what we have a desire for? Also I have noticed that some friends I have been neglecting are showing up in my life again in meaningful ways and are asking to have a closer relationship with me. I’m sharing these experiences with you so that you get the idea that when we take care of our own thoughts, wishes, and dreams – good things in life happen. We do not have to go out and “work hard” to have good things come into our lives. It is enough to just focus on them with love and desire and then they appear. I hope you all have a wonderful New Year filled with peace, calmness, and quiet strength. And that you continue to be a blessing in the life of your loved one. Tip for the Month: Ask your loved one what they want to be different in their lives this year? What they want – whatever it is – if it is different than they have now, it is a good thing, no matter how small. Never Give Up!! Wishing you love, patience, and persistence Dr. Barbara Grace
Barbara R. Grace, PhD, NCSP, CAHt, RoTh The Grace Center for Mind, Body, and Spiritual Healing 118 Barrington Commons Plaza, Suite 227 Barrington, Ill 60010 847-382-3232
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