If you could choose to be a flower or a weed, which would
you choose?
Karl W. Dennis is known as the “Father of Wraparound” in
Illinois. He is retired now, but he was the former Executive
Director of Kaleidoscope, which is a therapeutic foster care
program, in Chicago. He is the author of “Everything is
Normal Until Proven Otherwise,” a book about wraparound
services.
I have always admired and respected Karl for his wisdom,
insight, and unconditional
acceptance. I thought it might be a long shot, but I asked
him if he’d consider writing the Foreword for my soon to be
published book, “Second Time Foster Child.” I was elated
when he agreed to do so and delighted at what he wrote.
Karl once attended a play in which the actor asked the
audience if they’d rather be a
flower or a weed. Most wanted to be flowers. The actor
preferred to be a weed, as they have the traits of strength,
persistence, and tenacity. And some of them are quite
beautiful. As mental health advocates, weeds struggle to
survive; are persistent in their quest for services; and are
tenacious in their unconditional care. According to Karl, I
raised a family of weeds.
He goes on to compare my family to the great baseball
player, Jackie Robinson, who
was articulate, skilled, and loved by the fans. He was the
first African American player
accepted into the major leagues. Fans expected every
subsequent African American
player to be like Jackie, but they weren’t.
Karl believes that we all do a great disservice to the
families and youth we are privileged to serve, if we expect
them all to be weeds, elaborating, “Families must be served
without judgment. Weeds and flowers deserve our
unconditional commitment.”
Karl encourages us to do as he has always done, “Accept
people where they are at.”
I reflected on flowers and weeds as they relate to the NAMI
Emotional Stages of
Response.
Dealing with catastrophic events-a budding flower
which needs warm light and
refreshing water to survive.
Learning to cope-a mature flower which can stand on
its own, but still needs
nourishment to sustain stamina and growth, and wilts
without it.
Moving into advocacy-weeds with strength,
persistence, tenacity, and beauty.
May we tend to our flower garden and multiply like weeds!
